I'm tired of this quit...honestly

Hello everyone,It's been a month and a half now and I'm sick and tired of this...I feel like I'm basically living for this quit. I'm back to that lack of focus which is terrible 4 me, I can't read 2 pages of a book without contemplating a cigarette. I WANT MY CIGARETTE AND GET MY BRAIN BACK...I KNOW IT SOUNDS DESPERATE BUT THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS FOR ME. Can someone tell me when it stops because I'm going looney. Sometimes people who quit for six months or a year still crave bad,smoking cessation, that basically means that all the people who post here still have the ciggie on their mind (don't mean to sound rude because u folks are a great support). You guys sure u're not wasting time having this quit on your mind 24/7? When do you guys start living again? Let's face it, we made that mistake to start in our teenage days...but we wre rebellious, it''s part of life,quit smoking now, I have great memories of those cigs we used to smoke with my friends in the basement without my folks knowing. We got hooked and so what? I'd rather go on with cigs instead of the zombie I am without them...It's a DRUG u gotta accept it, u are all struggling to stay quit hoping that one day u won't think about it again...excuse me but trying to stay quit = life u're not living.I don't mean to break all ur illusions, especially the ones who are just a couple days into their quit but staying quit is 2 hard, only in some rare cases do people succeed and like I said on my previous post, I doubt these people were a pack a day smokers. At least I know something now, if I give in wether it be in a week or two I know I won't want to quit again: 2 much pain 2 deal with. Now to all the 3,6,9,12 months survivors, I tip my hat to you because u all obviously enjoy pain. This thing is an addiction, it's a monster, few know how to cope with it and professionals are strange : a tobocco hotline doctor told me to chew 2mg nicotine gums knowing I quit cold turkey 7 weeks ago? CRAZY.One of the main reasons we all wanna quit is because the non smokers have become anti-smokers...why would I wanna change for these "perfect" individuals...let alone these people, maybe it's because of these narrow minded people I started at first (u'd have to ask the teenage version of me) so I could seperate myself from them. POINT IS I'M CRAVING!!! SO WHEN DOES IT STOP?Thank u all, this message board is my remaining crutch...