euro english

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will

be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other

possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded

that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year

phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make

the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the

"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the

troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like

"fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to

reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will

enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to

akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in

the languag is disgracful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"

and "w" wiz "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords

kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations

of leters.

After zis fifz yer,墨尔本华人, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor

trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer…

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!





--

--